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A Sermon Prepared by |
For the
congregation of |
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To Be
Delivered on |
On the Occasion of the Third Sunday after Pentecost, proper 6C(RCL) Renewal of
Marriage Vows of |
For Gene and Judi, for All
As part of our service this morning we are celebrating along with the O’Neills, Gene and Judi. They have been married forty years. Quite an accomplishment! So, as a way for them to celebrate, and for us to join them, they will be renewing the vows that they made to one another forty years ago.
Does that seem a bit odd to you? Not the celebrating, or the renewing part, but the part about doing so in the regular service on a Sunday morning? I mean, isn’t this a private event? Something that is better celebrated with family and close friends? Certainly not something to be shared with everyone in the church, even those who may be visiting for the first time? Well, let’s just think about that for a minute.
When marriages
were first celebrated in church, they were originally not a separate
service. They were, in fact, part of the
regular Sunday morning service for everyone in the community to participate in. In fact, even today, we still consider that a
wedding is a public service of worship.
You can invite, or not invite, anyone you want to the reception, but the
service in the church is open to anyone who may wish to attend. At my own wedding, we had a delightful stranger
join us: a ninety-something year old woman from
There is another myth about weddings, and marriages, that I’d like to clear up while we’re at it. Many people seem to think that a wedding, and a marriage, is all about two people. And it is, sort of, but not really. There are many more people involved than just the two who get married, or in this case, renew their vows.
The first larger reality to recognize is that there are two families that are joined together by the union of the two people getting married. Yes, in-laws, [insert groan here]. But seriously… Two families, each give one of their own, and they receive one in return. In the process the two families are bonded together, a bond that is recognized particularly at holidays, vacations, moments of crisis, and of course, children.
In addition to making two families each larger, a new family is created, one that will develop its own traditions, coping mechanisms, forms of communication and decision making, and memories. After forty years, Gene and Judi can look back on these developments and kind of chuckle about them, remembering how their lives changed over the years with each new development of their life together. But while you go through them, nothing is more serious, or perhaps more painful then the million adjustments that life with another person takes. One flesh union does not mean that you end up being of one mind. Take heart Gene and Judi, I hear that the first fifty years are the only really difficult ones. Just ten more years to go.
That brings us to another larger reality that we must recognize with regards to marriage. It is a community event. One of the ways we recognize that is in the wedding ceremony itself. We ask the congregation assembled, “Will all of you witnessing these promises do all in your power to uphold these two persons in their marriage?” The response of the congregation is, “We will.” That question, and the promise of the community to uphold the two persons, recognizes the reality that the two persons are not alone. They are part of a community. That community includes their family, their close friends, but it also includes those who are called together into the holy community of the Church. Upholding one another is something that we Christians do. The context of our community together in Christ demands that we uphold one another.
Even beyond the Church, marriage is the cornerstone of our whole society. Family is the basic unit, the building block of society. All other institutions, from government to the military, find their meaning in that tiny set of intertwined relationships and generations where we all first learned what is important, and good, and right, and beautiful.
So marriage is not just about two people. In fact, in the Church marriage takes on a special symbolic role for the mystical relationship between Christ and the Church. It is a covenant relationship, as our relationship to Christ is through our Baptismal covenant. It is a relationship based on love, in fact, modeled on the love that Christ has for us, self-giving love, self-limiting love. It is a relationship entirely dependant on the grace of forgiveness. No marriage would last long, if the two people involved did not become experts in forgiveness.
In the Old Testament, the prophets, most notably Hosea, used marriage as a metaphor for God’s exclusive relationship with his chosen people. In the New Testament, Christ himself becomes the bridegroom. The metaphor becomes the preparation of the Church to be presented to Christ, the bridegroom, when he returns, at the end of the age. The bride is prepared through Christ’s saving and redeeming act on the cross. Only in this way can she be presented pure and holy. And of course, the wedding feast becomes the symbol of the never-ending celebration at the heavenly banquet.
Back on earth, marriage, that basic unit of covenanted love, is seen to be the beginning of all loves. From the prayers in the wedding service, “Make their life together a sign of Christ’s love to this sinful and broken world, that unity may overcome estrangement, forgiveness heal guilt, and joy conquer despair.” And this, “Give them such fulfillment of their mutual affection that they may reach out in love and concern for others.”
Clearly, Gene and Judi have had such fulfillment of their mutual affection that they have reached out to so many in love. We thank God today, as we celebrate with them, the forty years that they have had together. And we pray that they may have many more. And we thank them both for sharing this very personal event with us, and allowing us to focus on marriage and family on this Father’s Day. I close this morning with this from the wedding prayers, “Grant that all married persons who [have] witness[ed] these renewed vows may find their lives strengthened and their loyalties confirmed.”
AMEN